I've never been more glad to have a colonoscopy in my LIFE!

Two weeks ago I visited a GI doctor and was told that due to a teeny-tiny issue, I needed a colonoscopy. Well, the morning started off just peachy with a lady giving me a rude gesture at the gas station so every time they even said colonoscopy, I started crying. There I was...the crazy crying girl. Great.

First of all, Mary says I shouldn't write about this but I tend to be pretty open so if you don't want to read about said medical procedure, please skip this post. Truth is, I'd probably tell the cashier at the grocery store about it if she asked because it was so crazy. Oh and there is no making this long story short so bear with me.

So if you've never had a colonocopy, here's how it works: you prepare by cleaning your system on the day before. My day before just happened to include a power outage at my house and 2.5 inches of snow. You start by taking some laxatives and then three hours later you drink a laxative mix with Gatorade...8 ounces of it every 15 minutes for 2.5 hours. Overall, you take the equivalent of 17 laxatives. And you can't have solid foods ALL DAY! I love some solid foods but thanks to blue jello and lots of prayers from friends I didn't get hungry most of the time. In the end, I lost 7 lbs between Sunday and Monday morning.

The whole process wouldn't have been that bad had I not worried that my procedure would be canceled due to the inclement weather. I had nightmares of what I would say to them if they called me and tried to cancel it this morning. It wasn't a pretty nightmare. And the power went off at our house at 1 pm...right as I took my first dose of fun. For real? I did not want to go through that day at someone elses house. At this point I told Steven that God had a great sense of humor but I wished he'd share it with someone else. I prayed that it would come back on as I stayed in bed under 2 comforters and 2 blankets. Thank God that the power came back on at 6 pm.

I woke up at 7:15 this morning and immediately went to the window praying that roads hadn't frozen. The roads in our neighborhood were solid white so I feared the worst. I then turned on the news also praying that roads hadn't frozen. There they were, encouraging everyone to stay off the roads. No way...this was almost over and I wasn't going through Sunday again. No way Jose. It was going to happen if I had to walk to the Village at Pelham. I called the hospital to make sure it was still going to happen and they said to come on over. Well, we live about 30 minutes away in good weather so we left at 8:30 for my 9:45 procedure. We made it there safely. My sweet husband did a fabulous job driving in the yucky slushy stuff.

They took me back at about 10:30 and hooked up my IV. I don't know why I do this but I always think about the beach when I have to do anything with needles. The truth is, I hate the beach and I have no clue why I think of it EVERY time. I always see waves, a hammock, palm trees, and a sunset. So I started thinking about Hawaii because that IV HURT!!! And she had to try both hands.

Another nurse walked up and proceeded to tell me that she called me last night. However, I never received a call from them and asked which number she called. Who knows who she called because it wasn't my number. She conveniently got a phone call and had to walk away before explaining herself so I asked the other nurse why she would have called. She was supposed to call and tell me that my procedure would still go on as planned. That would have been nice to know! It would have eliminated a lot of nervousness. She also conveniently never came back so that I could let her know that. Oh well.

I had to wait about an hour before they took me back for the actual procedure so my sweet Steven read me some crazy story called Free Range Chicken from his electronic book to keep me preoccupied. He's a very wonderful husband. I don't know what I would do without him. He made me laugh and took my mind off that painful IV.

Apparently March is colon health awareness month. I couldn't have planned it better I guess. So the anaesthesiologist proceeded to tell me about a commercial she saw on CBS where you could apply to win a free colonoscopy in New York and do your prep in a fancy hotel. I like free. Too bad we don't have CBS on our digital converter box or I would have applied for that contest.

They took me back and put me to sleep and I was out in 10 seconds. It was great. I woke up and it was over after 30 minutes. I only have a minor issue that's nothing to worry about. And they gave me pictures of my insides. I wanted to post them but Steven said that I would probably be too open with y'all at that point. Apparently I said some crazy stuff as I was waking up too. Something about how I love pictures, I love Mary (because she'd just called) and how the nurse should try using extra care bucks from CVS. Good grief, I'm so crazy already, just imagine me under anaesthesia. Who knows what I told the doctors during the procedure. Steven said that's what I would probably be like if I was drunk. Wow.

Afterwards, we drove to Chick-Fil-A and got lunch because really...it makes everything better. We ate lunch and I took a 3 hour nap. When I woke up Steven made me the perfect hot chocolate and got dinner for us. He's fabulous. God couldn't have blessed me with a better man. I love him.

So when all my friends go get their colonoscopy in 25 years at least I can tell them that it's really not that bad. Hopefully in their cases, there won't be a power outage and 2.5 inches of snow. However, in 25 years they'll probably have some high tech procedure that doesn't even require the events of Sunday.

I know this all seems really crazy but God is so very good to us. I could tell people were praying for me because I didn't get hungry at all yesterday or today. The procedure was not rescheduled and we made it safely there and back. And he has kept me from having a major issue. I am very thankful for his provisions, despite the humor.